5 signs that you are not being a supportive spouse

A healthy relationship demands equal amounts of effort, dedication, trust, loyalty and support from the partners to make things work out for the long haul. Being supportive of each other, accepting each other’s imperfections and eccentricities, and having each other’s back no matter what helps us to know that we are in a safe relationship. We may look at our partner and feel that they are not supportive of us, but it is challenging to look inwards and assess our behavioural patterns to understand if we are being supportive of them. “How supportive are you choosing to be to your spouse today? Are you willing to offer support when you don’t feel it coming back? Please note that I am not inviting you to be a doormat because that wouldn’t be supportive to your spouse. What I am inviting is a willingness to take an honest look at how supportive you are being,” wrote Couples Coach Julia Woods. Here are five signs that we are not being a supportive spouse:
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Minimising their feelings: When the spouse is upset or angry, we should be a good listener, instead of trying to ridicule them for feeling a certain way and try to minimise their feelings. Being dismissive of their difficult emotions is a toxic trait.
Not following through: Making promises and not following them can lead to frustration and resentment. We should make promises that are within our ability to be fulfilled. That way, we can match our words with actions and develop more trust and intimacy.
Not celebrating their wins: Being a spouse also means being their biggest cheerleader and being by them in their good and bad times. Celebrating their wins and appreciating their efforts help in boosting their morale and making them more confident.
Making everything about us: A relationship should be a space of equality and we should ensure to not make everything about us. We should be understanding in the relationship and try to invest time and energy in understanding them and their situations.
Avoiding difficult conversations: We should sit through difficult conversations and work as a team against the problem together. We should find solutions together, rather than seeing them as an enemy.